There was a time when I used to play my music out loud, no headphones and no closed doors.
It’s not like I’m afraid somebody will drain the lyrics
before they drown me.
It’s not like I’m having trouble following the words
because they scream so much.
It’s not like I’m waiting for somebody to notice
that I’m stealing from the song.
They taught me to give myself up
little by little
until I no longer remembered how to connect
the pieces that remained.
Yet, I’m learning
to forge myself anew every day
from what lies around me.
Oh, I have been so resilient
finding myself over and over again.
Every day, my dreams fall into a deep sleep
far away from my reach.
And yet every day I dream,
that maybe one day they’ll all wake up.
I don’t play my music out loud, because I’m afraid somebody will hear, and smile.
And wouldn’t that be cruel of me?